Monday, August 31, 2009
I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
That's enough, Nickelback.
I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no Internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
There is a great need for sarcasm font.
Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f*ck was going on when I first saw it. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
The other night I hit a new low at an open bar. I had already hopped on highway blackout when, inevitably I had to find a bathroom. Eventually I decided it was probably on the other side of the bar so I tried to walk over there, but ran into a guy coming the other way. We played that, Both go left, Both go right game to no avail, so I finally put out my hand to guide myself past and that's is when I realized, yup, that's a mirror I just tried to walk through. And the guy on the other side is me. Even cats can recognize their own image.
How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
Was learning cursive really necessary?
Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.
Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."
I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
Bad decisions make good stories.
Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.
I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light Internet stalking.
I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.
Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
On AOL today there was an advertisement for an article about Fiji water. The article basically talks about how the corporation that controls Fiji water is not only stripping the nation of it's #1 resource, but gets rich from foreign interests while the country itself is suffering from poverty and illness. Not so great, huh? Another issue in the article is about how the United States has a wonderful relationship with the company's owners who also have their hand in certain crops in the country as well. I encourage everyone to read the article. I love passing along information to people that could effect items they buy. As a consumer you should always keep tabs on any company your buying things from. So next time you're standing in 7eleven deciding on which bottled water to buy, you might want to think twice before you pick Fiji. Below is the article's link to check out:
FYI, Tim and I are leaving for PA today for a wedding and family visit. We won't be back until sometime Sunday. Make sure to check in Monday, have a great weekend!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Today I pre-ordered a book that I'm really excited to read, Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol. I found out about Dan Brown's book coming out early in the summer and have been waiting in anticipation ever since. I'm a huge fan of all his books. I definitely recommend picking up his other books like Digital Fortress & Deception Point. Since I am a Borders Reward member, I got it for 40% off. It was originally $29.95 and I got it for $17.97. While I was in the process of ordering, I saw the third installment of The Wicked Years books, A Lion Among Men. If you've read Wicked and Son of a Witch by Gregory Maguire, A Lion Among Men is sure not to disappoint. It's been so long since I've read the last book, Son of a Witch, that I'm going to have to refresh before I start reading the new one. I must be so out of the loop because this book came out last October! I pre-ordered the paperback which is being released on September 1st. The paperback was 20% off from $16.00, then I had a coupon for another 25% off one item. I spent only $30 total and the books are being shipped to my local store for pick-up on their release dates so I didn't even have to pay shipping. I ordered through my new Ebates account since I've been doing more online shopping lately and got 4% cash back too! Thanks to Christina for another great find.
Monday, August 24, 2009
My new A&F tube top
Antik Jeans (need to be altered before I can wear them, too long!)
A very comfy A&F sweatshirt
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
The newest New Moon trailer has been released by Summit Entertainment entitled Meet Jacob Black. It's a mix between a trailer and a mini interview with Taylor Lautner. I really like the way they did it, and it shows a lot more scenes. There were some Italy shots, Bella's infamous cliff dive, a first look at some new vamps, and of course some Bella/Jacob interactions. They have also released a new plot synopsis for the film that I included after the trailer. I can't wait for this movie. It looks like it won't be as much of a disappointment as the first film was to me. I'm really excited to see what the new director's take will be on the conversion from the book to film.
"In the second installment of Stephenie Meyer’s phenomenally successful TWILIGHT series, the romance between mortal and vampire soars to a new level as BELLA SWAN (Kristen Stewart) delves deeper into the mysteries of the supernatural world she yearns to become part of—only to find herself in greater peril than ever before. Following Bella’s ill-fated 18th birthday party, EDWARD CULLEN (Robert Pattinson) and his family abandon the town of Forks, Washington, in an effort to protect her from the dangers inherent in their world. As the heartbroken Bella sleepwalks through her senior year of high school, numb and alone, she discovers Edward’s image comes to her whenever she puts herself in jeopardy. Her desire to be with him at any cost leads her to take greater and greater risks. With the help of her childhood friend JACOB BLACK (Taylor Lautner), Bella refurbishes an old motorbike to carry her on her adventures. Bella’s frozen heart is gradually thawed by her budding relationship with Jacob, a member of the mysterious Quileute tribe, who has a supernatural secret of his own. When a chance encounter brings Bella face to face with a former nemesis, only the intervention of a pack of supernaturally large wolves saves her from a grisly fate, and the encounter makes it frighteningly clear that Bella is still in grave danger. In a race against the clock, Bella learns the secret of the Quileutes and Edward’s true motivation for leaving her. She also faces the prospect of a potentially deadly reunion with her beloved that is a far cry from the one she’d hoped for. With more of the passion, action and suspense that made TWILIGHT a worldwide phenomenon, THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON is a spellbinding follow-up to the box office hit." - Summit Entertainment
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Kerry Tube Top in Burgundy
Brianna Tee in Navy
Noelle Sweatshirt in Navy
I'll post pictures of how they look when they get here next week. I got my Rue La La packages today! I already tried everything on and it all looks great! I'll be posting pics this week.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Melrose Place @ 9 Series Premier Tuesday, September 8th
I posted 3 shows that have trailers so far. Let me know what you guys think of these shows, I hope you enjoy!
Friday, August 14, 2009
The song used in the trailer is Lifehouse's "Broken". I have been such a huge fan of Lifehouse for so many years. "Broken" is on their latest album Who We Are. Some other good songs from the album that you should check out are "First Time", "Whatever It Takes", & "Who We Are". Another great song from them that was released as a single is "From Where You Are". You might recognize it from a commercial from Allstate about teen driving. If you like Lifehouse, I also suggest Switchfoot, The Fray, & OneRepublic.
Saturday I'm dedicating to working on my tan with my new tanning lotion (see Monday's post). In the afternoon we're looking at some houses with our awesome realtor. Currently our night time plans are up in the air, but I'm sure something will come up.
Sunday is now dedicated to Beach Volleyball. Tim and I and a bunch of our friends spend the morning and early afternoon at the sand courts by our house. It's a great workout and is really good for your tan.
I hope everyone has a good weekend!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
American Vintage Long Dress in Charcoal
(I could only find a pic in this color)
I also got an American Vintage T-Shirt Dress in grey, but I couldn't find a picture for it. I was dumb and never saved the pictures from the actual boutique. As soon as I get them, there will be pics with all the items on!
Monday, August 10, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
The happy couple, Jess & Matt
Tim & I dancing
Tim & I with Matt
Mike & Heather
At our table